


Can you stay with me like that?

by s1lv3r



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecurity, M/M, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 12:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s1lv3r/pseuds/s1lv3r
Summary: Junmyeon can't help but feel that he's not worth Baekhyun's time.





	1. Chapter 1

“Junmyeon Hyung, do you think that our concert will go fine?” Sehun asks, and Junmyeon looks over, smiling slightly at the pouty look on his face. He walks over and gently pets Sehun on the head.

“Of course, Sehunnie. There’s no need to be worried. You’ll do fine. We’ll all do fine.” Junmyeon says, looking meaningfully at everyone present in the room. He sighs as he merely gets a few nods in reply.

He sits back down quietly and bites on his lip. Maybe they were just all really lost in their own thoughts. They’re certainly not ignoring him, right? And if he feels that Baekhyun and Chanyeol are sitting a little closer to one another, maybe it’s just him.

He looks up as the door opens, as does the rest of the members. Junmyeon notices that Baekhyun and Chanyeol move further apart, and can’t help but smile a little on the inside. He can’t help but be a little jealous of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s closeness. 

No one knows that Baekhyun and him have been together for a long time. Of course, their relationship hasn’t been all smooth sailing, but Junmyeon would consider that they have a close relationship. 

Their manager enters the room, and Junmyeon stands up immediately, expecting to be told that the concert was beginning. Instead, their manager motions for Junmyeon to follow him out. He tilts his head in confusion, but follows him out nonetheless.

“Honestly Junmyeon. Your performance just now during rehearsal was horrible. I expected better of you.” Their manager starts, the moment the door to their dressing room closes. Junmyeon closes his eyes and lowers his head in disappointment.

“I’m sorry, Manager. I’ll do better, I promise.” Junmyeon answers quietly.

“Better isn’t good enough. You’re so useless, Junmyeon. Stop slacking around. Look at Chanyeol! He’s younger than you, but so much more talented.” the Manager continues, and Junmyeon bites on his lip so hard that it bleeds.

“Yes, Manager. I wi-” Junmyeon is interrupted by another manager walking down the hall.

“Junmyeon! There you are. Honestly, can you ask Jongin to stop messing with the staff? We’ve received complaints, again. Junmyeon, can’t you control your members better?” the other manager says, sighing.

“I’m sorry, Manager. I will better control my members.” He bows towards the second manager. The two managers share a look at each other, before sighing and nodding for Junmyeon to move off.

He turns around to leave and go back to the room. All he wants to do now is to go into a room and cry alone, or preferably with Baekhyun. But honestly, he doesn’t think that Baekhyun would comfort him. Most likely, he thinks bitterly, he’ll be with Chanyeol, enjoying his time. 

He knows he’s useless, and doesn’t need the managers to remind him time and again. None of his members listen to him, and he figures that none of them like him either. It’s obvious, from the way that none of them listen to him when he speaks, and the way that none of them bother about him when he’s feeling down, despite the fact that he’ll comfort them whenever any one of them feels sad.

Except Baekhyun. Baekhyun had noticed when he was upset and had taken it upon himself to comfort him. Although, maybe Baekhyun wouldn’t want to be with him anymore, considering he had someone better now.

“Wait! Come back, Junmyeon.” one of the managers pulls him by the wrist. He tries not to flinch from the pressure on his wounds. He turns back and plasters a smile onto his face, so that the Managers wouldn’t know that he was about to breakdown.

“For today’s concert, we want to promote Chanbaek as the EXO pairing.” Junmyeon merely nods, feeling so numb that he can’t seem to comprehend it. He slowly turns away and walks away from the managers still talking in the hallway.

He enters the room again, and wants to laugh as the members don’t even lift their head to look at him. Sighing under his breath, he clears his throat and speaks up.

“Guys, listen up. For today’s concert, the managers want us to show the EXO-Ls some Chanbaek action. Y’all know the drill right?” Junmyeon asks, and nods at Baekhyun and Chanyeol. “Y’all are doing amazing already, just continue and you’ll be fine.”

Without another word, Junmyeon sweeps out of the room, unknowing of the footsteps that follow him as he makes his way to the stairwell. He sits down heavily and sighs. He’s so so tired and just really wants a break right around now. 

First, he had been scolded by the managers, which had significantly lowered his self esteem. Next, he was going to have to stand and watch as his boyfriend flirted on stage with another boy. He felt tears rise to his eyes and he’s careful to wipe them away without smearing his makeup. 

He feels someone tugging on his shoulder, and sniffs quickly before turning around to look at them. Through his blurry eyes, he sees that it is Baekhyun, and so he smiles at him.

“What’s wrong, Hyung?” Baekhyun asks, letting go of his shoulder in favour of sitting down next to him. Junmyeon lets his smile fade little by little and leans his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder. He doesn’t miss the way that Baekhyun freezes and leans away slightly.

“I don’t know, Baekhyun. I don’t know.” He sighs, letting his eyes close, and prays that someone will bring him away from this cruel, cruel world.


	2. Chapter 2

With the concert finally over, Junmyeon sighs as he enters the car, moving to the back without any complaints whatsoever. It’s not as though anyone would care, anyway, he thinks. He sinks into the cushion and leans his face against the window.

Something about the cool glass makes him feel more at ease. Maybe because it’s such a huge contrast with his boiling emotions, he considers. He’s about to go off into his own world, but still keeps his eyes open to make sure that all the members have boarded the company van.

Jongin is about to squeeze in next to him, when Baekhyun calls out to him and pulls him back. Instead of Jongin sitting next to Junmyeon, Baekhyun appears instead. Junmyeon can’t help but let a smile grace his lips. However, his hopes are quickly dashed as Chanyeol appears right behind as well.

Baekhyun smiles at him and sits down, crowding all around him. His unique scent fills Junmyeon’s nose quickly and he can’t help but lean closer.

“It’s alright, Hyung. You can lie on my shoulder if you want. I know that the concert’s been tiring, especially for you.” Baekhyun says, looking over Junmyeon’s tired form in concern. Junmyeon merely nods, before gently placing his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder. This time, Baekhyun doesn’t lean away, but leans closer instead.

Junmyeon lets his eyes close, but in actual fact, he’s not asleep. He just needs some time to think about what transpired during their conversation at the staircase.

“I don’t know, Baekhyun. I don’t know.” He sighs, letting his eyes close, and prays that someone will bring him away from this cruel, cruel world.

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows in confusion and gently pets Junmyeon on the back, in an effort to comfort the older man. Junmyeon sighs again, and Baekhyun’s worries intensify.

“Is it me?” He asks Junmyeon tentatively. “Did I do something wrong?” He tries again when his first question receives no reply.

“It’s not you, Baekhyun. It’s me.” Waterworks start pouring again, and Junmyeon can’t help but feel like an idiot as he buries his face into Baekhyun’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that I’m such a terrible person. I’m so sorry that you’re dating me.” Junmyeon continues.

“Where is this coming from, Junmyeon? Did something happen to make you think this way?” Baekhyun asks, his eyes widening at Junmyeon’s confession.

“I… I don’t know Baekhyun. Don’t you think that Chanyeol is so much better than me? He’s so talented and nice, unlike me.” Junmyeon says, looking up at Baekhyun with tear-streaked eyes.

“Junmyeon… I’m with you, and I’m not interested to be with anyone else. Please believe me.” Baekhyun replies, reaching up a hand to wipe Junmyeon’s tears away. 

“I’m sorry. I’m being a burden again. Let’s go back to the dressing room, alright? The concert’s about to begin.” It’s as though Junmyeon didn’t even hear what Baekhyun had said. He shrugs Baekhyun’s hand away and stands up. 

“Fine. Let’s go back. It’s not over yet, Junmyeon. Can we talk more when we get back to the dorm?” Baekhyun asks, gripping tightly onto Junmyeon’s wrist. At Junmyeon’s weak nod does he finally let go, and watches as the leader makes his way back to the dressing room.

Junmyeon definitely doesn’t want to have any talk with Baekhyun, let alone one that’s about his feelings. He knows that it’ll definitely suck. But the way he’s sitting next to Junmyeon now tells him that there is no way he’s getting out of the talk.

The car ride seems to take forever, but eventually, the van reaches their dorm. One by one, the members exit the van, leaving Junmyeon to leave the last and check if any has left their things in the van. Finding nothing, he steps out as well, and if surprised to see that everyone except for Baekhyun had disappeared.

“Where did everyone go?” He asks. He doesn’t want to have to answer to the managers about missing members. Baekhyun shrugs, but points at the dorm room door. He wants to face palm a he realizes that they’re probably inside already. After all, why on earth would they wait for him?

“We need to talk, Junmyeon.” Baekhyun’s voice breaks the tense silence that had enveloped them. “They wanted to wait for you, but I asked them to go inside first.” Junmyeon’s shocked to say the least.

“Oh.” He manages to say, looking dumbly at Baekhyun. Baekhyun rolls his eyes in an affectionate way, but starts walking towards the warmth of their dorm. Like a gentleman, he opens the door for Junmyeon to enter first.

“Will you please talk to me, Junmyeon?” Baekhyun finally asks, after they’ve both showered and Junmyeon’s done his motherly duties of making sure that every member was asleep in their own bed. They’re both sitting on Junmyeon’s bed, with Baekhyun leaning against the headboard.

“I don’t know how to begin. Honestly, I just feel like I’m not good enough for you, Baekhyun. And it’s true. There’s so many people who are better than me. Why did you choose to date me?” Junmyeon finally lets the dam break, now that he’s out of the leader shell and back to being his own self again.

“Junmyeon… where is all this coming from?” Baekhyun asks.

“You know, you and Chanyeol have been really close to one another recently. And I guess I feel ignored. The managers keep scolding me, telling me that I’m not good enough and that I can’t control my members. It’s all true, isn’t it?” Junmyeon replies.

“It’s not true at all, Junmyeon. You are good enough, and you can definitely control your members. I mean, all of us listen to you. Some more than others, but still.“ Baekhyun says, a fire igniting in his eyes. 

“And…” he continues, “I like you, not Chanyeol. I don’t like Chanyeol in that way, and I never will.” Baekhyun says, a blush lighting up his cheeks. Junmyeon’s mouth hangs open.

“Hell, Junmyeon. I think I love you. So for me, please don’t think that way anymore, alright?” Baekhyun pulls Junmyeon closer, and their lips meet with a fiery passion. 

Maybe one day, Junmyeon will be able to find the courage needed to show Baekhyun the marks on his wrist, but for now, he contents that he has the courage to tell his lover the same thing.

“I love you too”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if this is a flop ;-; I tried my hardest already and I'm sorry if it isn't good enough for you :c


End file.
